Evolution

My blog friend DT brought up the question of routine; more specifically, how one could avoid it. Seeing how I have semi-managed to fall into one myself at first I didn’t think I was the proper one to answer this question, or even take a stab at it. Until I began to think about some of my friends and where they are in life: and although each and every one of them has a different story, they are all twenty-somethings and all have found themselves in some sort of routine.

I think our society thrives, nay, depends and demands routine from all it’s members starting from the top down: successful business men and women all talk about ‘to do lists’ or ‘agendas’ or ‘time management’ etc, notions that they believe helped them on their journey to success. In an attempt to emulate such successes, parents and teachers hammer into the heads of their young the benefits of organization and routine and the pitfalls and consequences of spontaneity, such as you’ll never get into college or university, you’ll never find a job, you’ll never do your laundry etc etc. I guess the perfect example of this kind of ‘education’ would be my co-worker friend, let’s call her Valerie, who at the tender age of 22 has two (yes, 2) degrees, a full-time job and a fiancée. She comes to work, goes home, and plans her wedding on her weekends. At best she’ll come out with us sporadically, and if planned by the receptionist. Otherwise it is her and her fiancée; let’s call him Rico, doing whatever it is they do with their spare time. Val is in what I like to call the triple threat: 8 hours of work, 8 hours of play, and 8 hours of sleep. Don’t get me wrong here; she might go to the gym or shopping, but compared to the stories she’s told me of her university days, it is a tame tame world that she’s found herself in.

When I look at Val I see myself; at least, the girl that had her world pulled out from underneath her almost 3 years ago. Had my world stayed exactly the same, had my routine not been shaken to the core to the point of no return, I would be exactly where Val is today. And that scares me like nobody’s business. It’s great for those who strive for the perfect balance; good on you. But for me it signals the end of an era, the twenty-something era of exploration and discovery long before it had the chance to truly begin.

Not to say that after your 30th birthday all there is left is routine. Hardly! It takes a bit more effort on your part and a few more scary sacrifices, but as a very brave friend of mine showed me and the rest of his posse, change is possible and change can be an adventure in itself.

On the eve of his 29th birthday this friend of mine decided that the time had finally come, all the excuses have proven useless, for him to travel the world. That meant, of course, he would have to take a sabbatical from his job, save up the money to travel in style, and leave the girl of his dreams that he had just met. Personally, I don’t know if I could do what he did to, well, do what he did before, during and after his trip. But it got done and the experience changed his life. It was an incredible story to read and watch, and I know that he has inspired countless numbers of people to do what it takes to achieve your dream before taking that seemingly endless plunge into the black hole routine.

I think, at least for myself, that it is really really easy to fall into a routine. It is comfortable, familiar, and simple to maintain. Spontaneity, however, requires effort, loose planning, improvisation and most importantly courage. We naturally fear what we do not know, and many f us prefer the known outcome to the potential of chance or fate. I guess that is my answer, DT; to avoid routine we must have the courage to welcome and face change. I know that this is so much easier said/typed than done, but think about it: I don’t know how it is for other people, but adults in my parents generation, the boomers, snicker at the notion of their children’s (twenty-somethings) new fangled ideas of work, play and everything in between. The ideas of travel, spontaneity, broken work weeks filled with afternoon siestas, but mostly the notion that we (the echo) can change the world is often laughed at and dismissed by the boomers as nothing but idyllic dreams of an over-idealistic and uninformed generation.

What I find amusing is that generation, the generation that changed the world, has now come full circle and taken the place of their parents who no doubt snickered at the free-flowing hair, love and spirit of their children who experts say will change the world until the day they die. I know that they are not finished with their influence, that they are not ready to end their reign of change – but it will end soon. The next 4 to 5 years will be the years where we, the echo will develop, mature and discover just exactly what we can do, what we want to do, and what we can do. The world will change again according to its inhabitants and how we respond to the environment we are in. In other words, the world will change by us, for us; so as the definition of ‘routine’ may no longer mean 8-8-8 of work, rest and play. Personally I think that the traditional ‘routine’ is ready to end. The question is, my twenty-something and thirty-something friends, are we ready to begin?

Better book those flights soon eh?

Excuses, Excuses

Since when do we need them?

This past Valentine’s Day, or for the majority of my co-workers, Single and Fabulous Day, I was talking to my boss about, well, what else, Valentine’s Day. He was surprised that I didn’t have a date (I did: He just lives 2 hours away from me) and I was surprised that he didn’t either. In fact, I was surprised to find out that almost every single one of my co-workers who were working that night didn’t have a date, or someone to call their date for Valentine’s Day.

But that wasn’t the point of our conversation. Personally ever since I was 18, or maybe it was 19, I lost interest in the concept of Valentine’s Day. Not because I spent last year’s Single and Fabulous Day working and then working out at my gym, ie spending it as I would any other day of the year; No, I’ve lost interest because it really is such a Hallmark Holiday – a buy-things-that-are-50%-more-expensive-than-usual-because-corporations-tell-you-too-day. And really – from my 22 year old perspective of life, I wouldn’t want my significant other treating me extra special on one day just because he feels he HAS to. I mean, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of love when an act of it is out of obligation?

However, and there is always a however, my boss brought up an excellent point. He mentioned that he didn’t date because he’s fallen into a rhythm of working, having a drink afterwards, going home and doing it all over again the next day. When one falls into such a pattern, he said, it’s nice to have an excuse to do something, to make the time to do something special for the person in your life; The person that takes away the monotony of the wake up-work-come home-sleep cycle that we all somehow seem to fall into no matter how hard we try not to.

As soon as those words passed his lips to my ears I got to thinking about my own hectic schedule and the rhythms I’ve fallen in to, whether I had meant to or not. I mean, I go to my internship – I go to my classes – I go to work – I go to the gym – I go home. And then it starts all over again. With the exception of after-work drinks and gym dates, I too have to make excuses to see my friends… That is, if I can manage to fit them into my pink day planner.

I can’t help but wonder if this is the future of adult-living: The need for calendar-set-days or occasions to see your girlfriends or have a date night with your significant other. I mean, it just seems odd to me that in this age of being able, if not celebrated for doing whatever we want whenever we want, do we really need an excuse to do something with the ones we love?

I guess the pre-commercialism of days like Valentine’s (or Single and Fabulous’) were meant for just that: An excuse to be extra special, extra attentive, and extra loving to those in our lives who save us from the cycles we find ourselves in, especially when you all find yourselves going in opposite directions. It is true how we often forget, or at least put on the backburner, those in our lives who bring in the sunshine through the rain.

I just wish that on those special days it didn’t cost me my first born child to send a basket of cookies. Oh well, c’est la vie.